Services:

Intimacy Skills Counseling

 

What do you think the word "intimacy" means?" asked the marriage counselor. After we all took a miserable stab at defining the word, she responded with, "In-to-me-see. Intimacy is seeing into each other's life. It's knowing each other's strengths and weaknesses. It's being aware of each others fears, hopes, and dreams."

 

Intimacy is probably one of the most misunderstood concepts in relationships. Somewhere down the line intimacy and sex became interchangeable words, many people believing they are one and the same. And while intimacy may include sex, it involves much more. Intimacy encompasses an entire way of being, acting, and thinking. It is a place of commitment, vulnerability, and trust. Intimacy is when both the man and woman understand each other while simultaneously feeling understood. People can be married for years and never truly be intimate with each other.

 

What exactly is emotional intimacy? Emotional intimacy occurs when there is enough trust and communication between you and your spouse that it allows you both to share your innermost selves. Deep emotional intimacy is when we feel wholly accepted, respected, and admired in the eyes of our mate even when they know our innermost struggles and failures. Emotional intimacy fosters compassion and support, providing a firm foundation for a marriage to last a lifetime.

 

Until we are able to rid ourselves of our old patterns and ways of reacting, we will see intimacy in one of two ways: we will either crave intimacy in an attempt to make up for the lack of intimacy we felt growing up or we will push it away in order to avoid feeling the pain of the past. Ironically, both types of people are after the same end result, they just go about it in opposite directions — neither of which is healthy or effective. For example, if you are the type of person that craves the feeling of intimacy, you will tend to smother your partner in neediness. You will try and fill your own feelings of desperation and emptiness through your spouse, something that will ultimately cause them to back off, ironically causing more neediness on your part and more retreating on theirs. This cyclical dance has no happy ending and neither partner ever gets what they want or need from the relationship.

 

While intimacy is a unique connection between two people, its successful beginning is with the individual and their ability to be open, vulnerable, and to trust. Counselling provides individuals a process within a safe environment to explore and discover the issues that cause a lack of intimacy in marriage. Many times past hurts where our trust has been broken or our openness taken for granted result in us protecting our heart by putting up barriers to stop anyone from coming in and causing further damage.

 

Too many marriages today try to exist without emotional intimacy. Over time a marriage lacking intimacy will become empty, lifeless, and the husband and wife will find distance in their relationship. Emotional intimacy is the glue that holds relationships together, yet it is challenging for many of us to experience.

 

The counselors of Front Range Counseling Center will help you to resolve the pain and hurt from past experiences. This is a very personal and raw aspect of working through what has caused the shut down of emotion. Also important aspect this healing process is to work through the hurt with your spouse. This includes forgiving the specific events that have caused the hurt. And finally, your counselor will work to restore intimacy by providing very practical tools and events, also called relational building blocks, that you and your husband or wife can do together. These the things that you first did together when you originally met; they are what first drew you together. Drawing off of your unique relationship, your counsellor will draw out a solid plan that will, over the long run, rebuild the gaps that have developed in your relationship.

 

Participation and communication are the keys to building emotional intimacy in a relationship. Sharing and discussing your feelings, opinions and thoughts will not only help you become more intimate with a person, but also let you see things from another person’s perspective.

 

If you and/or your partner struggle with emotional intimacy, counseling sessions might help you and your partner learn some things about yourselves and move from where you are to where you want to be. We can help teach you tools of improving your skills of intimacy and to create a safe and strong relationship.

 

 

 

 

We encourage you to set an appointment today.  We are here to help!